The key to a
successful marriage is putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. Here are
25 practical suggestions gleaned from 25 years of happy marriage.
1.
Listen
To be truly heard is the longing of every human heart, and your wife is no
exception. It sounds simple, but listening can be harder than it seems with so
many distractions around us and within us. Set aside some time every day to
look into your wife’s eyes and really listen to what she has to say. You may be
surprised at what you hear.
2.
Communicate
Don’t make her guess what you are thinking or feeling.
3.
Sing Her Praises
Shamelessly brag about her good qualities and quietly pray about her bad ones.
Her reputation is your reputation.
4.
Pray For Her and With Her
Praying on your wife’s behalf not only enlists the help of the Almighty, but
also puts her and her needs at the forefront of your heart and mind, right
where they belong. Praying alongside your wife will strengthen your
relationship like nothing else. Studies show that couples who regularly pray
together stay together, enjoying a 1% divorce rate compared to the usual rate
of 50% or more.
5.
Value Her Individuality
Your wife is wonderfully unique. Don’t compare her to your mom, or your
ex-wife, or your old girlfriend. Your mom may make the best chocolate chip
cookies in the world, but unfavorable comparisons won’t win you brownie points.
6.
Put the Seat Down
Perpetually raised toilet seats are a pet peeve of wives everywhere. And while
you’re at it, tidy up a bit. A little consideration goes a long way.
7.
Throw Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper
It’s likely just a few steps from wherever you are dropping them anyway. Make
this a habit, and it will let your wife know your don’t consider her your
personal maid.
8.
Turn Off the T.V.
Lay aside the video games, pocket the iPhone, and shut off the computer, as
well. It is staggering how many hours we waste gazing at some sort of screen
instead of interacting with the real people in our lives. Consciously set
limits on your tube-time, whatever form it takes. Use the time saved to invest
in your marriage: take a walk with your wife or play a board game together
instead.
9.
Loosen the Purse Strings
We all have to keep an eye on our budget, but an occasional splurge can be well
worth it. Seemingly frivolous things like flowers, jewelry, and overpriced
restaurants let her know that she is more valuable to you than a number in your
bank account.
10.
Practice Servant-Leadership
All organizations have a hierarchy. It’s impossible to function without one,
but being a leader isn’t the same as being a dictator. The best role model is
Jesus Christ, not Joseph Stalin. Jesus washed his disciples feet and then died
on their behalf. It’s a challenge to exercise authority while maintaining a
spirit of humility, but that is what being a godly leader entails
11.
Remember that Intimacy’s a Two-Way Street
Unfortunately, men are notoriously selfish in the bedroom, yet are dumbfounded
when their wives are less than enthusiastic in this arena. Make this area of
your relationship as pleasurable for her as it is for you and it will pay huge
dividends. It may mean washing the dishes or helping with the kids, so that she
has energy left at the end of the day. It may mean cuddling and candlelight, so
that she can relax and let the worries on her mind drift away. If you aren’t
sure where to begin, just ask her, and then listen
12.
Give Her Time to Herself
Everyone needs an occasional break to rest and recharge, and this is especially
important for a wife who is at home all day with young children. Yet it’s very
easy to neglect this legitimate need unless you regularly and intentionally
schedule time for it.
13.
Set Aside Couple Time
Soak in the tub together each evening or go on a date night once a week —
whatever gets the two of you alone on a regular basis.
14.
Be Careful with Female Friendships
We all have friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, but tread cautiously.
Not all affairs are physical ones. Honoring your marriage vows means remaining
faithful in thought and word as well as in deed.
15.
Use Good Hygiene
It is amazing how meticulous guys can be prior to marriage in their attempts to
impress a girl, but once they walk down the aisle, all bets are off. Clean up a
little; I promise it won’t kill you.
16.
Limit the Gross Stuff
Few women find burping and farting nearly as hilarious as the typical guy does.
Good manners are always a win.
17.
Be Patient
In whatever way this applies to you and your situation, apply it.
18.
Cherish Her Children
A mother’s bond to her children runs immeasurably deep. When you invest time or
energy in them, you are investing in her as well. Kindness to them counts as
kindness to her.
19.
Choose Her Over Hobbies and Buddies
Invariably there will come times in your relationship when you will be forced
to choose between your wife and something else that you enjoy. Always choose
her.
20.
Provide for Her Needs
This is so much more than just putting food on the table. It is
all-encompassing. Whether it is physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs,
you name it — do your best to provide. Sometimes life’s circumstances hinder us
in one area, but we can compensate in another area. Often the effort is as
important as the outcome
21.
Dial Down the Anger
Your caveman instincts are handy on the battlefield, but horrible for a happy
home life. Every outburst or flare-up is a relationship setback. To go forward,
the first step is to stop going backwards. Learn to control your temper or it
will control you, your marriage, and every other aspect of your life. Just
because your wife puts up with it and your co-workers tolerate it, doesn’t make
your short fuse an asset. Do whatever it takes to gain victory in this
all-important struggle that has haunted man since Cain slew Abel
22.
Cut Out the Condescension
If you have been blessed with a quick wit, you can either be the life of the
party or a pain in the neck depending on the circumstances. Condescension is
anger’s younger brother. It isn’t as loud or as dramatic, but it can be equally
hurtful and all the more so for its subtlety. Lay off the snide remarks, the
sarcasm, and the belittling. Speak to your wife in the same way that you would
speak to a respected colleague. She is, after all, your partner in the most
valuable investment of your life — your family
23.
Actively Seek Your Wife’s Insights
Value her input and give it a preferential place in your decision-making
process
24.
Learn to Forgive
Freely forgive your wife’s past, present, and future offenses. Forgiveness is
at the heart of the gospel and at the heart of every meaningful relationship
25.
Verbally Express Your Love
There are lots of ways to show your love, but women still like to hear it
spoken
(Source : http://alltruthisgodstruth.wordpress.com)
