Society seems to have graced us with gender roles. The
pressure of fulfilling these said roles is immense on both the genders. Yes,
you heard me right, BOTH the genders. The array of pressure runs in opposite
directions. Women face shallow, superficial pressures which are enraging to a
whole different level, whereas men face the pressure of being strong, the sole
breadwinner, successful, not be the 'woman' in the relationship, so on and so
forth.
Have you ever come across these #CoupleGoals posts on the
social media and found yourself being hurled against the tides of wishful
thinking?!
Have you ever wondered how a coupegoals' post can invoke
some uncalled for jealousy against the persons in such posts?
To be honest, I have, or, precisely speaking used to find
myself doing that. But all of it has very gracefully transformed into
indifference or a meek snort with laughter. The moment you see such posts, the
first thing that we automatically tend to do is compare our partners to them.
How that guy takes her for dinners at exotic places, showers
her with gifts, shows so much commitment on social media, so on and so forth. This
is so unfair towards our partners. To give them their credit, they're well
aware of these very tendencies which prompts them to up their game.
Ladies,
imagine being constantly compared to a social media fantasy. Being pitted
against something or someone that makes them believe that their best is nowhere
close to raised expectations.
There are
no qualms in raising the bar, but, a line needs to be drawn somewhere. The
problem isn’t with our raised expectations but with these posts is that gives
us the idea that this is what a normal relationship looks like. And what's the
problem in this?! Well, to put it visually, the couple is having dinner on the
beach with all the aesthetics that would make it your goal. And what is normal
anyway? My normal might not be your definition of normal and same goes for the
millions out there.
There are no qualms in raising the bar, but, a
line needs to be drawn somewhere. Let's not confuse raising the bar with the bull
dozing of pressure.
To add to
these woes is the issue of social media commitment. Why has it become necessary
for your partner to scream about how committed he is to you from every social
media rooftop? What we've forgotten is that a commitment is between two people
in a relationship and not between two people and their 500 other Facebook
friends.
I know I’ve
raised too many questions and jumbled your thoughts. But if you think that I will
also be providing the much needed solutions to these questions, then, sorry to
burst your bubble but I won’t be doing anything of that sort.
That’s not
because I would want you to look for the answers yourselves or introspect or
anything, it’s as simple as I haven’t got the answers. The only solution that I
see to this problem is to not treat it like a problem at all. Stop comparing, stop
judging, treat these posts as any other post and stop yourself from wishing to
have that.
Cherish what you’ve got for what you’ve got is real,
the couple in these posts, real or not are not you and your guy, they’re some
random people with a hazy sense of goals for it is not what your partner solely
puts in, it is what you BOTH build together that should be tagged as goals.
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