5 Essentials To Carry This Monsoon

Monsoons are quite unforgiving in almost all regions of India. To help you tread the difficult tides that this monsoon shall bring, I have curated a list of 5 necessities which might proove to be of paramount importance to anyone.

Insect Repellant

Heavy Rains+clogged gutters=water-logging,

Walking in the dirty clogged water to get anywhere is inevitable. Hence, one of the essentials of the monsoon kit is a water-proof insect repellant. Apply such a repellant and stay safe from unknown insects' bites.

Craft Paper

When you are stranded due to heavy rains and the internet is not working, what do you do to keep yourself entertained? it's simple, carry some fancy craft papers, make beautiful paper boats and watch them float in those cute little muddy puddles.

Inflatable Floats

It's raining heavily, you can't take an off (beacause we can't afford that kind of luxury), and you're tired of the usual conundrum of rolling up your pants and walking in the clogged water, well, just carry an inflatable float coz why not?! It'll definitely be more fun than merely trudging in that mucky water.

Trekking Bag Filled With Essentials

Chances are you'll get stranded in the rain easily by reason of our state of the art infrastructre and maintenance of the drainage system, hence, I recommend you to carry a trekking bag with essentials- a change of clothes, some food and water, other essentials- that can last you for minimum two days.

Sleeping Bag

 If you're carrying a trekking bag, you might as well carry a sleeping bag with it if you want to be prepared for all circumstances at all times.

P.S. This is a sarcastic post written mostly to criticize the little efforts taken by our government to improve the infrastructure, facilities, etc. as a result of which the common man always suffer. I hope it is taken in the right stride.

10 Qualities of Great Marriages

Here are 10 qualities of great marriages: 

1. Friendship: Spouses who have a strong friendship have staying power in that they not only love each other, but genuinely like each other. They enjoy spending time together and there is mutual respect.

2. Humor: Spouses who can make each other laugh tend to be good at de-escalating conflicts when they do arise. Couples who have the ability to lighten up a tense moment have a big advantage in that they are able to lighten the mood quickly and possibly derail conflict. The use of funny nicknames can be an indicator of great fondness for one another. The names often stem from a "you had to be there" moment from the beginning of their relationship. 

3. Communication: As obvious as this may seem, many couples are not very good at it. Those who are able to openly express their feelings in an emotionally safe environment typically deal with situations as they come up and avoid burying frustrations which always have a way of coming out at some point. 

4. Chore Sharing: Those who divvy up the household or parenting responsibilities in a way that is mutually agreed upon are less likely to hold resentments about what they perceive as "unfair." Each participates and contributes to the marriage in this way. 

5. Sexual Intimacy: Couples who have their sexual needs met or at least have negotiated a reasonable compromise, if their levels of need aren’t compatible, feel taken care of by the other. Some are highly active, engaging in lovemaking multiple times a week and others are content with far less. There is no "right" or "wrong" here, but if one person is feeling their needs aren’t being met it’s important to talk about it. 

6. Affection: Spouses who stay in physical contact in some way throughout the day feel connected to each other, even if it's a simple stroke of the hair, kiss on the cheek or playful tap on the rear. These moments don’t necessarily lead to sexual intimacy but are rather easy ways to say, "I love you and we’re connected" without the words. Some households are so chaotic between jobs, kids and life that these brief shows of affection can be grounding when everything else is swirling around you. 

7. No "Horsemen of the Apocalypse:" This is a term coined by couple’s researcher, John Gottman, who is able to predict divorce with incredible accuracy. His "four horsemen of the apocalypse" are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. He has shown that couples who demonstrate a high level of "the horsemen" in their relationships are more likely to divorce. 

8. Mutual and Separate Friends: Partners who socialize with other couples and also maintain separate friendships have greater balance in regards to honoring themselves as individuals within the marriage. This leads to more self-satisfaction, which translates to relationship satisfaction. 

9. Reliability: It’s human nature to feel good when those we care about follow through behaviorally and we know they will be there. If couples do what they say and say what they do, they create an atmosphere of comfort in knowing their words mean something to the other, which increases emotional safety in the marriage. 

10. Relationship Vision: Couples who have created a relationship vision for themselves know where they’re going as they’ve planned it together. They get joy out of reaching for their goals as a team and are less likely to be derailed by surprises down the line. Where do they see themselves in 10 years? What are their marriage and family goals? 

Perhaps many of the above ideas resonate with you, and perhaps some do and some don’t. It’s also possible that you have many additional ideas about aspects of successful marriages. At the end of the day great marriages are created by the two people involved and are defined as such by what works for each of them together. I encourage you to sit down with your spouse and talk about your ideas of what makes a great marriage and make it so for yourselves! 

Source: http://www.hitchedmag.com/

6 signs your relationship is in trouble

Here are six signs your relationship may be in trouble. 

1. The relationship isn't a priority
Between work, kids and life, it can be easy for a relationship to become lost among other responsibilities. "There's an ebb and flow in relationships," says Shizgal. "There are seasons, there's change – it's a work in progress."

However, if your relationship is chronically not a priority then that’s a problem. If your relationship is not a priority, then you've "lost the mutual responsibility for the health of the relationship and the maintenance of the relationship," explains Shizgal.

2. You expect your partner to meet all of your needs 
We often come into a relationship with an unrealistic expectation that our partner will fulfil all of our needs. Your partner isn't your parent, though, so it's not his or her job to meet all of your needs, explains Shizgal.

"It's hard to separate out that my unmet needs are for me to figure out and for my partner to support me in," she says. If you blame your partner – or vice versa – for not assisting you financially or for not helping you cope with stress and anxiety, then you need to step back and consider whose job it really is to fulfil those needs.

3. Checking out
If one or both of you is checking out of your relationship, then that's a problem. According to Shizgal, a relationship is a "conscious partnership" that involves "both people taking responsibility for the relationship, because two people have to be reliably, sustainably engaged," she says.

You need to be aware of how your actions – or lack thereof – are impacting the relationship. Ask yourself what you're bringing to the relationship. Are you present? If you're checking out of the relatinonship, then you're not engaged in a conscious partnership and that's not healthy 

4. Lack of eye contact
"When couples are in distress, even in small arguments, they tend to stop looking at each other and avoid eye contact," says Shizgal.

You could be avoiding eye contact for many reasons: maybe you're not telling the truth or perhaps you're afraid of facing your problems. Either way, not making eye contact is a physical sign of a problem in your relationship. Ask yourself why you avoid eye contact, says Shizgal. Then, actually make an effort to make eye contact with your partner.  

5. You've stopped fighting
Fighting is a sign we often associate with a troubled relationship, and while fighting too much is not healthy, not fighting at all isn't healthy either, says Shizgal. "I think it's important to be able to fight and disagree and survive," she says. "Often, when we can work through conflicts or disappointments, we end up moving closer together."

If you don't fight it usually means that you're scared of upsetting your partner by saying that you're mad. However, if you don't express how you feel then you'll never work through your issues as a couple.

6. A pattern of pursuit and avoidance
"Sometimes people get so scared of jeopardizing their relationship or pushing their partner further away, that one person ends up chasing the other person, while the second person avoids them," says Shizgal. She calls this a "pattern of pursuit and avoidance" or "avoidance/avoidance."

This is usually a symptom of a relationship where the couple doesn't communicate or isn't sure how to communicate well. A couple that is stuck in this pattern has to learn how to communicate effectively and to actually address issues, instead of avoiding them. 

Ultimately, relationships are a work in progress and you need to ask yourself if you can work through the issues you and your partner may have. Can you talk out your differences? Can you renegotiate your responsibilities so that everyone is happier? If not, then your relationship has a serious hurdle that it may not be able to overcome.

source-http://www.canadianliving.com/

The Dangers of Arguing in Front of Your Kids

You know that sick feeling that comes over you when you and your husband are shouting angrily at each other -- and then you look up and see your child standing wide-eyed in the doorway?

If you're like me, you can remember just how upset you felt when you heard your own parents argue. By the time we were preteens, my sister and I had suggested to my parents that they get divorced if they couldn't get along any better. They never did anything of the kind, so I have to conclude it bothered us more than it bothered them.

Is Arguing in Front of the Kids Always Harmful?

An occasional disagreement -- call it a "heated negotiation" -- during which you treat each other with respect and move into problem-solving, say therapists, is actually a good thing for kids. It's considered a form of role modeling. But arguments in which you repeat the same points over and over, or call each other names -- where you are venting resentments rather than solving problems -- have no up side for the children. "If you bully one another, your kids learn to bully others. "And they will turn that treatment right back on you once they are teenagers."

Do Parental Fights Have a Negative Influence on Kids?

"Children start by being frightened by their parents arguing," says Jacobs. "Later, they become disgusted. 'How can they live like this?' they wonder. Eventually, they develop a fear of being similarly trapped, and as adults may have the tendency to bail out of relationships early."

What Can Parents Do to Minimize Any Trauma?

If kids witness a bad argument, don't sweep it under the rug, says Lindquist, go ahead and apologize to them. Reassure them that you love each other. Mention specifically, in age-appropriate terms, how you would have liked to talk about the conflict. For example: "I'm sorry Daddy and I were arguing last night. We both feel bad when we say bad words. We can work things out better when we don't interrupt each other and use soft voices."

How to Keep Arguments Under Control

1. Argue as though the neighbors are able to hear you No name calling, no foul language, no raised voices.
2. Actively use your listening skills.
3. Give direct eye contact and do nothing else while your spouse is
talking. Look riveted. Nod your head, no matter what they are
saying.
4. Repeat what the person has said. Use as many of the same
words as possible.
5. Sympathize. Let the other person know you understand that they
are feeling bad, even if they are blaming you for the problem.
6. Ask, "Is there anything more you want to tell me?" Give your
partner a chance to discover deeper feelings, and to shift to a
calmer, more neutral place.

If you find yourself getting carried away, call a time-out. Stop right there and agree to talk later. Then make a time to sit down and have a real discussion about what is bothering you -- the bigger issues of your life and your marriage.

And do it when your children do not have to be an audience.

Mangalsutra

Mangalsutra - The Sacred Symbol of #Marriage

A Hindu marriage symbolizes not just coming together of two individuals, but also the bonding of understanding, commitment, mutual love, oneness and spiritual growth. Traditionally, #Hindu marriage is much more than just celebration and fun. It demands sacrifice, companionship, #dedication, and #devotion from both the partners. Each and every #rituals and customs associated with marriage portrays the real essence of #wedding. Traditionally, there are five signs of marital status of women, according to Hindu #culture- #mangalsutra, toe rings, #kumkum, bangles and a nose ring. Talking about Mangalsutra, the word denotes a significant meaning. While mangal means aupiscious, sutra can be deciphered as a thread.

Significance Of Mangalsutra In Hindu Marriage

Mangalsutra, as such, is not just a jewelry item, but a sacred thread of #love and #goodwill worn by #married #women, as a symbol of their successful marriage. An inevitable part of Hindu marriage ceremony, Mangalsutra refers to a revered symbol of wedlock. India being a land of diversity, different regions in the country have assigned different names for this scared symbol. While it is known as the thaaly or maangalyam in Kannada, Telugu and Tamil in Southern India, people in the northern part of India calls it Mangalsutra. It is believed that the concept of this sacred thread had its roots laid down in South #India. Having immense significance and importance, it traveled to North India as well and today, forms an imperative part of the wedding ceremony.

Mangalsutra is the token of dignity and love given to a #bride by her #groom. 
On the wedding day, the groom ties the Mangalsutra around the neck of the bride, while the priest recites Vedic hymns and prays. It signifies the union of the bride and the groom, amidst the presence of deities, who are believed to be attending the marriage. In some regions, the groom ties first and his sisters tie the rest. Talking about its appearance, this sacred thread is made of two strings of small black beads with a locket or pendant. Sometimes, it is also made of small beads of gold and black beads, with gold and diamond pendant.

Considered auspicious for married women, mangalsutra is believed to have divine powers. Each of the black beads in the Mangalsutra, signify protection from evil power and are believed to protect the marriage of a couple, essentially the life of the husband. Hindu women feel superstitious, when this scared thread breaks or gets lost. In the present times, mangalsutra are boasts of various designs and patterns. While the Gujaratis and Marwaris often go for a diamond pendant, Maharashtrians have a pendant that consists of one or two vatis and Bengalis in the meanwhile, have coral incorporated in the designing of the Mangalsutra.

Present Scenario

Today, the concept of wearing a mangalsutra has changed considerably. It is more of a fashion statement than a symbol of marriage, thanks to modernization. With the progressive times, the wearing of mangalsutra in working women has considerably reduced. There is also a marked change in the style and making of mangalsutra over the years. Previously, women used to wear simple design mangalsutra, with small pendants, but now, the trend is to wear short length ones, that too with a single string. Instead of gold pendants, they prefer diamond ones. However, the black beads have still managed to remain constant. Whatever may be the reason to adore it, mangalsutra surely symbolizes the real essence and concept of a Hindu marriage. 

ref. - www.weddings.iloveindia.com

#Quality Of #Great #Marriage

Relationship Vision: 

#Couples who have created a #relationship vision for themselves know where they’re going as they’ve planned it #together. They get joy out of reaching for their goals as a team and are less likely to be derailed by #surprises down the line. Where do they see themselves in 10 years? What are their #marriage and #family #goals? 

Perhaps many of the above ideas resonate with you, and perhaps some do and some don’t. It’s also possible that you have many additional ideas about aspects of #successful marriages. At the end of the day great marriages are created by the two people involved and are defined as such by what works for each of them together. I encourage you to sit down with your spouse and talk about your ideas of what makes a great marriage and make it so for yourselves! 

"Radha Krishna(The Eternal Love)"

Slowly, gently let’s dive into the world,

The secret romantic world of Radha and Krishna.

Yellow garments covering Krishna’s body of blue,

Radha’s countenance blushing like the timid silver moon,

With the luring notes of Krishna’s magical flute.

Krishna, who steals from his sanguine eyes,

The precious love deep rooted in the heart inside.

When he stole a glance at Radha’s hazel eyes,

Desire and Love melted to one in two hearts,

And two souls entwined together to form a name ”Radha-Krishna”.

No one near but the white moon above,

In whose milky beams, Love bathes with the doves,

Witnesses the romantic melody of the tranquil night,

That dances out of Krishna’s flute, graceful and divine,

And on the tune of which Radha droops her eyes meekly.

On the leafy grass, Krishna on Radha’s lap,

In the dark infinite, stars on cloud’s arm,

No eyes have got the boon to get such blissful sight,

Only jingling of Radha’s anklets and notes from Krishna’s flute,

Can feel this spiritual romance of Radha and Madhava.

Krishna’s tempting eyes doing the trick,

Calling Radha’s tempted lips to give a kiss,

And like a desert nomad’s thirsty throat in an oasis,

Krishna’s lips keep on drinking the winy kiss from Radha’s lips,

Which drowns his heart in the flooding river of kiss.

This secret world of spiritual love and divine romance,

The sweet of whose nectar soothes the moon and the stars,

What wondrous beauty is hidden in its bosom ?

Where Radha and Madhava , in different conjoining postures,

Come together to fulfill every lustful desire…

(Source: http://allpoetry.com)

Express your Needs....

#Express Your #Needs

You must make known your needs to your #partner. He or she can’t be expected to guess about what your needs are. #Balance is #important in that extreme self centeredness is as bad as extreme selflessness. Keeping your needs to yourself doesn't allow your partner the chance to express #love through the #act of giving.